Happy Meal Toys Are Not Invented by Moms

So I have had a terrible virus for days. At first I thought I may have given myself food poisoning with my own cooking and although that would have been pretty embarrassing, had it been true I probably wouldn’t have shared it with you. But now I have just come to the realization that I have some type of terrible virus or the person who cooked my food when I ate out twice in one day didn’t wash their hands. That totally freaks me out but I guess it doesn’t really matter how I got sick because it just has to run its course.

It couldn’t have come at a worse time though. This weekend is a crazy weekend for me. We are heading to Orlando for my step sons graduation. Am I old enough to have a step son graduating? No I am not. Not at all but when I married the second time I decided to go for brains and maturity so my husband is a little bit older. Oh and he is pretty darn cute too. Love you honey!

Anyway… No, I am not old enough to have a step son graduating from high school. Nor am I old enough to have a step son graduating from college but I have one of those two. Eeeekk. The one graduating from high school actually gets a real big kick out of going shopping with me and then screaming out in a crowded isle “Hey Mom! Can I have this?” while everyone looks at me like DAMN! I want to know what new super fruit juice she’s drinking.

Anyway… we are going to Orlando then will be heading to West Palm Beach for a pageant that I am directing then will turn right back around and drive 8 hours back to Alabama so I can be at work on Monday morning. YAY ME! Aren’t you jealous? No really, I can’t really complain because I am really looking forward to seeing everyone and can’t wait to see all of the beautiful contestants at the pageant because we have so many people coming back from last year and that just really makes me smile.

So we start the 6 hour trip to Orlando in the middle of my nasty yucky virus and a little over half way in we stop at a McDonalds to eat. Well, the little man who has been sitting in the back seat passed out in his car seat starts screaming bloody murder as we pull in. Nick gets him out of his car seat and he is soaking wet. As soon as I realize what brand pull ups we had him in I will be very sure to give them a you suck shout out but in the meantime…. I just changed him in the middle of the parking lot.

We get inside and both girls are “too tired to eat”. Oh yeah I know sitting in the back seat of the car sleeping is just so freaking exhausting. How ever do you do it? So Collin runs into McDonalds and immediately starts screaming “I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!” Then I realize that the Happy Meal theme is Madagascar. We actually happen to love Madagascar at my house. I can literally quote the entire movie because the 2 year old has watched it over and over and over again.

So he is over at the little display that McDonalds puts up to show exactly how many different toys there are in the collection so they can brainwash your kids into needing to come back each week to complete their own little collection. He is bouncing up and down saying “I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!” and everyone is getting a real kick out of it. We get the Happy Meal/Kids Meal… whatever they are calling it now a days and we eat. I get out the little toy and it is Gloria (from Madagascar of course) and it is in two pieces. Apparently you are supposed to snap Gloria onto this little piece and then push it across the table and the little roller underneath causes her to spin. YAY! Fun! Right?

Um… hell no. What were these people thinking? Who invents this stuff? Do they not know that the kid is going to be happy with just Gloria. Just GLORIA and damn it, if she HAS to move then make sure the freaking piece is attached to her PERMANENTLY so when we get back into the car to keep on trekking along on our 6 hour trip I’m not hearing from the back seat “Mommy it brokeded! It brokeded Mommy! Mommy fix it! Fix it again Mommy! Mommy it brokeded again!”

Why does this happen? Because she had to spin the first time!


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